Happiness

Here's how to change career paths. Even if you're afraid.

Is the career path you want to take unexpected?  UniqueUnchartered? Or unconventional?

 

Do you feel scared to take the first step?  Worried you’ll disappoint someone?  Afraid to take a risk?  Or nervous you’ll end up broke eating ramen for dinner every night? 

 

I truly believe you deserve to love your work and your life.

 

I believe it’s possible to enjoy what you do in your career

 

And when you love your 9-5, it spills awesomeness and joy into the rest of your life.

 

You’ve heard it from me. Now I want to share a story about the journey Kimiko Stella has taken to get to a place of real life career love.

 

 

A few months ago, I was getting my hair styled by the lovely Kimiko.  Mid-shampoo, I casually asked her “do you like your job?”  (It’s a habit – I can’t turn the coach off.)

 

Her eyes lit up. She grinned, threw her head back and said “YES! I love my job”. 

 

From that moment, I knew I needed to know more.  So I got the chance to sit down with her for some lunch (and bottomless mimosas) to get deeper into her story.

 

Kimiko has inspired me and I know she will inspire you.

 
 
 

Kimiko is a 30-something Japanese Italian woman who is feminine, strong and beautiful inside and out.   Growing up, she was surrounded by amazing women.  She has a very strong mother, a sweet and gentle aunt, and a Nona you don’t want to mess with (let’s be honest, is there any Nona you would mess with?!).
 
 
Life wasn’t always easy for Kimiko.  She struggled with depression.   She has been married and divorced.  She’s a survivor of sexual assault.  She took the unconventional path in her career and it put a strain on her relationship with her family.   At the age of 26, she came out to her family as a lesbian.
 

But all the steps in her journey have led her to become a seriously inspiring badass, and a force to be reckoned with!
 

Today, she’s a hairstylist in one of the top salons in Vancouver, Brush Salon (check them out!).  She gets to do hair for all sorts of glamorous events like Vancouver Fashion Week, and several TV shows filmed in Vancouver.  Somewhere in there, she does regular people hair like mine.
 

Every day, she goes to work and LOVES her job.  And she’s fiercely confidentShe’s uniquely herself
 
 

Here’s Kimiko’s journey to becoming a top stylist in the city.
 
 
Growing up, Kimiko was encouraged to take a traditional path.  Go to school, they told her.  We’ll pay for your education.  Do something that will make you money and be stable.  Needless to say, Kimiko’s family did not support her being a hair stylist. 
 
 
Their vision for her was one of an academic path.  So, she dabbled in kinesiology, counseling, nutrition, customer service and radio broadcasting – things she was interested in but not passionate about
 
 
Her family was supportive of her education, even going so far as to paying for her education as long as it was on their terms. 
 
 
Have you ever worried what your family might think if you quit your job?  Or if you changed your major?  Or went back to school?
 
 
Kimiko knew she wanted to be a hair stylist.  But she also knew they wouldn’t be happy with her decision. 
 
 
She needed to overcome this huge roadblock. For Kimiko, she came to the realization that she had to be ok with - and accept - that she was going to let people down.  This was not an easy journey
 
 
But she knew she wasn’t going to be able to follow the path others set out for her.  
 

She knew the journey she was on, easy or not, would be her own.
 
 
 
And she knew it would be worth the challenge.   


 
She took out her own student loan.
 
Made the decision to say goodbye to academics. 
 
And faced many difficult conversations. 
 
 

She shared with her family that as much as she loved themshe was going to follow her dream and passion to be a hair stylist.
 

 
Lesson #1 – Sometimes you have to walk the path alone.  Sometimes the path gets darker and more challenging, before it gets easy.  It will be worth it.  
 

 


Kimiko’s story is painful and strikingly honest.  It’s also one that I know isn’t only Kimiko’s.
 
 
Many of the men and women I know have grown up with similar messages.  Well-intentioned families, teachers and even friends tell us “you can be whatever you want to be”.   
 

But as soon as we step away from the classic “acceptable”and “stable” jobs, fearful comments and ominous warnings instantly begin. 
 
 

This is incredibly difficult.  As children, we want our parent's approval. As we grow up, we want our family and friends to support us.  To go against their cautions and wishes is counter to most of what we’ve been brought up doing. 
 
 
She persisted despite their growing fears for her.  One family member even told her “you’re going to be living in the gutter if you have that job.”  
 
 
For Kimiko, she knew her family’s worries and anxieties existed because they didn’t understand the business.  But she DID understand the business.  Kimiko knew her passion and creativity meant she would be successful!  She wasn’t worried about not making it.  Instead, she focused on following her dreams and has become a mega-successful hair stylist.  
 
 

Lesson #2 – People will project their fears onto you.  While they might mean well, know yourself enough to know if your fears are your own… or someone else’s. 
 

 
Kimiko wanted to be a hairstylist enough that she was willing to go through the challenges, the financial struggle, and family turmoil because it would be worth it.
 
 
For Kimiko, hair styling is about art. It’s about growing a business. It’s about connecting with people and genuinely making them happy.   It’s about relationships. 
 

And that is what she wanted deeply for herself – to have fun and make others happy.  
 
 

Lesson #3 – Your desire for your dreams has to be greater than your fear of taking a risk.
 

 
As you’re probably realizing, Kimiko is a deeply insightful, strong and intelligent woman (on top of being an amazing stylist).  Her wisdom is inspiring and beautiful. 
 
 
What Kimiko knows for sure:

  • Our choices are ultimately what define our personality. What we choose to do and our actions, are our soul being bare to the world.   Your words and what you say is one thing, but your actions are ultimately a reflection of your true colors.  So take action to create the live you want and need!

 

  • Societal pressures and expectations will shape us, without us even realizing it.   But your life belongs to you.  Get clear on what you want and be true to that.

 

  • Careers are an important part of our lives.  It’s what we do for 30 - 50 hours a week.  And the right career is nourishing. It feeds you (pay check, stomach, and soul).

 

  • Historically, femininity has too often been about being docile, submissive, gentle, quiet and small.  But now, there’s a chance (a need!) for women to be present, have a voice, and stand up.  It’s time for women to show the world who we are. 

 

  • Strength is having no regrets and no shame in what you believe in.”  Kimiko strongly believes that there are times that the situations we are in are uncomfortable. The setting hits a prickly nerve.  With friends or family, this is even harder - it’s icky, gross, nitty and gritty. And necessary.  Stick with what you believe in – it is the definition of strength.

 
 
Are you wondering how you could possibly create a career you love?
 
 
Here’s Kimiko’s advice for getting success on your terms:

  • Have a constant pursuit of happiness.  Happiness doesn’t come to you automatically.  Make it a mindful effort to chase and explore what brings you joy and delight.  It’s why we’re here on this planet.

 

  • Always be reflecting and growing.    There are so many people who live life on autopilot and end up drifting wherever life takes them.  Don’t do that. Be consciously living and critically making choices to take advantage of this short, beautiful life you have been given.

 

  • Learn. All the time.  Every part of your journey is building you to get you where you need to go.  It all happens for a reason and it will pay off. 

 

  • Take risks and make mistakes. Sometimes you get hurt. Sometimes you fall down pretty bad.  No risk, no glory. 

 

  • It’s not too late.  Even if you have no idea what it is you want.  If you know you’re not loving what you’re doing, take the first step. Be ok without knowing and get curious about yourself and what’s next for you.

 
 




I’m so honoured to share Kimiko’s story.  I am deeply grateful to her for opening up her soul and sharing her story with all of us.
 

 
I am humbled by her authenticity.  But most of all, I KNOW her story is going to resonate for so many of you.  

 

 

 

Her courage is palpable. 

 
She's courageous for standing her ground.
 
She's courageous for taking a risk.
 
She's courageous for following her passion.
 
She's courageous for sharing her story with us.
 
She's courageous for opening up to help you.
 
 
 

My hope is that you will also be inspired by Kimiko’s courage
 
 
My biggest wish for you is that if you are in a place in your career that you aren't happy, you start taking the steps to find joy in what you do. Today.  
 
My longing is that you explore your deepest desires and give yourself permission to want more. 
 

My dream for you is that you find the courage within yourself to create the life that you want. 
 
 
Because your life DOES belong to you.  To you and you alone. 
 
 
And you deserve to design your beautiful life into the one that you really, truly, madly, courageously and deeply want.

Thank you Kimiko, for your huge gift - reminding all of us that courage and strength pay off with huge bonuses of joy, purpose, and passion.
 
 
 - Lisa
Success Coach
www.lisamichaud.com
 


 

PS.  My hair is also eternally grateful that you, Kimiko, a) followed your heart and b) I found you.  
 
 
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The Advice You Should Never Take

“Never take advice from someone you wouldn’t trade places with.”

This is one of my favourite quotes.

I remember a lovely first date I had with my (new at the time) friend Matt Corker

For anyone who hasn’t heard of or met Matt – if you live in Vancouver, you’ve been living under a rock – this guy knows EVERYONE! And it’s because he’s fantastic

Matt and I were out for a run the first time we met and we got into the discussion of working women – one of my favourite topics. At the time, Matt worked for lululemon. I told him that I believed it was possible to “have it all” – work and family.

 

I also told him that I felt like I had it all but didn’t know many other people who did. 

 

Do you ever feel like this too?  Do you ever feel like you’re the only one?

 

The narrative out there seemed to be that “having it all” was a myth. Or that telling women they could “have it all” was cruel, and makes those who don’t have it all feel worse about themselves.

Not good.

Matt said something very profound to me.

He said, “If you think you can’t have it all, you’re talking to the wrong person.”

Bam.

Of course. 

Someone who doesn’t have it all will probably tell you it’s not possible. They’ll tell you it’s a myth, and that you have to pick between work , fun, and family. 

 

Matt hit the nail on the head. If you ask the right women, they will show you it’s possible. At lululemon, he knew many female executives who still made time to exercise, volunteer, and raise families. 

 

The same goes for men.  If you ask the right men, they will share wonderful stories from their paternity leave, of backpacking trips through Europe and exciting business accomplishments.

 

Let’s remember that “having it all” doesn’t mean there aren’t sacrifices. Tough decisions. Constant prioritization. And support required. 

 

But it IS possible! And isn’t prioritizing, making decisions, and being deliberate in what you do a HELL of a lot better than the alternative? 

 

Being deliberate beats missing out on having kids that you would love to have. 

 

Prioritizing beats being lonely because you’ve spent too much time at the office. 

 

Making the decision to set boundaries with your boss (or your business) sure beats missing a best friend’s bachelorette party or birthday.

 

Do you ever feel like you know it’s possible but just aren’t sure how to “have it all”?   

 

Here’s how you can get there too.

 

1)  Having it all starts with figuring out what “having it all” means to you. 

For some, it will mean running a marathon a year. 

For others, it will mean having three kids. 

For others (like me), it means travelling to new countries every year.

For many of us, it means having great family and friend relationships.

 

I believe we can have all this and also have rewarding, challenging and engaging work to do!

 

2)  Having it all also means surrounding yourself with other women and men who feel like they have it all. 

  • Reach out to a friend or mentor who is clearly happy and fulfilled in their lives, and learn from them. 
  • Talk to your friends about what “having it all” means to you, and to them. Support each other and encourage them to “have it all” too.

 

3)  Having it all means being deliberate with your time and consciously creating the life you want. This might mean:

  • Setting the alarm early to have breakfast with your partner and kids because you aren’t always home for dinner.
  • Saying no to volunteering for the fundraiser.
  • Pumping the song “You can have it all” by JRDN in moments of doubt. Which literally just came on my iTunes random playlist.  Yup – it’s a sign – we can have it all!
  • Having a conversation with your boss about after-hours emails.
  • Working late some week nights and weekends so you can take a Friday off and head out on a wine-tasting weekend early.
  • Taking paid or unpaid leave of absence to spend more time travelling.

 

All of these things become HEAPS easier when you know you’re doing it because you want to have it all.  

 

And you deserve to have it all.

 

--Lisa

Success Coach

 

PS If you’re looking for awesome books to get into the structure of HOW to have it all, I highly recommend Laura Vanderkam’s books168 Hours and I Know How She Does It.  I’ll be sharing learnings from her work from time-to-time but if you are super passionate about this topic, get her books now!  Side note - If you do follow my links, they don't cost you anything extra and keep me reading and recommending only the best books and advice for you!

Be Happier In Your Job By Friday!

You don’t need to quit your job, and run away “Eat, Pray, Love”-style to be happy. You can make some changes THIS WEEK to start loving your job more.  Keep reading and start waking up EXCITED every day!

Ok, so it’s only Tuesday but maybe the blah’s have already kicked in.  I don’t know if you are looking for a small change or huge change (like quitting your job, moving to Bali, starting a business and getting a PhD).  And maybe you don’t know what you need either. That’s ok!

 

If all you know is that you want to be happier, that’s great. 

 

The even better news is

YOU CAN START TODAY!

 

Any change you want starts with you doing something about it.  So here’s 5 things you can do THIS WEEK to have happier work and a happier life.

1) Plan 3 Fun Breaks.

Having something to look forward to brings you joy before, during and after. It’s like triple the happiness!  This fun break can be a lunch break or a shorter mid-morning one.  Do something that’s fun for YOU.  Go for lunch with a friend or a coworker.  Close your office door and take a 10-minute stretch break (or have a dance party!).  Go for a walk. Book that massage you’ve been meaning to.  Watch a TedTalk you’ve been dying to see. Pull out your colouring book and make a masterpiece. Whatever it is, give your brain and body a chance to hit “refresh”.  It will make you more productive AND also give you a giant boost of happy!

2) Jot down what you love. 

Put a piece of paper next to your keyboard or start a note in your phone. Any time you find yourself enjoying what you’re doinglooking forward to doing something at work, or if you just lost track of time because you were so into what you were doing, write it down! This will help you learn about yourself and what you love to do. Once you understand this, it makes knowing what to do to love your career a lot easier. Start by tracking what you love. Then look for ways to do more of it in your life.

 

 

 3) Help and appreciate someone else. Share the happy with others! You can:

  • Help a colleague. Sure, you’re busy. We’re all busy. But you see a coworker drowning in work, or struggling with something you’re good at. Lend a hand. Giving encourages others to help and we all know what goes around comes around.
  • Recognize someone who’s made a difference to you. Consider how they would want to be thanked and do it that way. Say thank you to them at your team meeting, send a personalized thank you card, or email them and their boss, thanking them for something they did for you! It makes you feel good and creates a positive work environment. Create healthy relationships today. They will last for the rest of your career.   

4) Do that scary thing.

Take a risk. Do that thing that's been nagging you but you haven't had the balls to do.  Volunteer for that new project.  Speak up and bring a new perspective to the table.  Lead something you've never done. Share your opinion even though it's different than everyone else's.  Go to that networking event alone. You want an awesome career?  Of course you do!  Go get it.   Be courageous today and try new things. Don’t forget that you are unique. Whatever you choose to say, join or create will be better because of your ideas, leadership, and perspective.  So be bold and just do it!

5) Start an "I Rock” folder.  

Mine’s called “Lisa Rocks” but I recommend using your own name.  I have an email folder that I’ll put positive feedback in when someone sends me a flattering or appreciative email. Not only is it an awesome way to perk up when you’re having a bad day, but it’s also extremely helpful for your career. Stock it now and your performance reviews will be a piece of cake.  Run your own business? Share your “I Rock” folder as raving testimonials to new clients (don’t forget to ask permission first).  No-one else will take ownership of your career for you. You have to own your career. Take pride and keep track because it’s up to you to be confident about and share the incredible work you’re doing!

Challenge yourself to do all 5 of these things.  Try them this week.  Do them again next week.  I guarantee you will find yourself smiling more and feeling confident in what you are doing.

 

Do it this week because action is what it’s ALL about!

 

Let me know how it goes. I know you can do it!  And I love hearing from you. Reach out and share your thoughts. 

 

Here’s to choosing happiness!