Pretty dresses and ugly thoughts

 
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How adorable is this outfit?! 




(I think it's the cutest ever, but I'm biased). 




This sweet outfit though has quite a story behind it. 



 


I went to put it on Sonoma this morning and instantly had a negative million thoughts about myself. 





What will people think of me putting my daughter in such a "ridiculous" outfit?





What if other moms think I'm trying to "out-mom" them because my daughter looks so put-together? 





Are people going to judge me because my daughter looks so cute and I'm in Lulus and haven't showered in 2 days?! 





Honestly, I almost put her back in a sleeper and walked out the door. 







I stopped for a moment and asked myself "why do I want to put my daugheter in this cute dress?" 





The answer?





Because time is going so fast and I want her to wear this sweet outfit at least once before she outgrows it. 





And because life is short and we shouldn't wait for special occasions to celebrate, dress up, and use the good china (or in our house, the fancy wine glasses). 





My reasons? They were legit, good, soulful reasons I wanted to dress my baby in this beautiful outfit. 





And my negative self-talk almost talked me out of it. I almost let my fears, my insecurities, my need to be "liked", get in the way of that. 







Now, I'm not saying YOU need to dress up your child every day. Or that you need to dress yourself up. 





What I've learned is that it's all about intention and energy. 





My intentions were pure, fun, and sentimental. My reasons for not doing it were rooted in ugly negativity. 





So I said f*ck it and dressed her up cute and headed out the door.





A moment of truth: this was just ONE interaction, ONE thought process I had this morning out of many. And I happened to catch it and am reflecting on it and growing from it. 





How many of these conversations do I have with myself every day?



How many do YOU have with yourself every day?



How often do we talk ourselves out of something we want because of fears, insecurities and so much more?





It could be something as simple as wearing something different. 



It could be as massive as quitting our job and starting a business. 



It could be as significant as running for political office, leaving a toxic relationship or moving cities. 





It could be as small as needing a nap or a workout and giving ourselves permission to do either one. 





So if you take anything away from this post (besides the desire to say "awwwww" to this sweet baby - proud mom alert), I hope it's this:





Listen to your self talk. Listen to how you speak to yourself and what you talk yourself out of. 





Stop to think, and feel and decide what's right for YOU and what's important to you beyond your fears. 





Because they're there. At every level, no matter how insignificant the decision or how evolved you are, or how much therapy/coaching/personal development you've done, it's there. 





And it's up to you to overcome so that you live your life on YOUR terms, in a way that feels good to you. 





PS. It's mom's night out tonight and that's when I get to dress up and celebrate too because that's what this mama needs on a Friday night!  ❤️










 

I'll never be the same

I’ll never be the same.

 

 

Since the moment I became a mother, I haven’t been the same. And I know, I’ll never be the same again.

 

 

I remember walking onto the street after Sonoma was born, for weeks, and wondering… could people notice?

 

 

Could they tell I was different?

 

 

As people rushed by me in city fashion, I wondered… could they see? 

 

 

Could they see how tired I was? 

 

 

How transformed I was?

 

 

How in love I was?

 

 

Although I often wondered if I was meant to be a mom, or if I even wanted to have kids, the truth is, I’m loving every moment.

 

 

Motherhood has transformed me and changed me. I’ll never be the same. And since my work is an extension of who I am, it too will never be the same.

 

 

Honestly, I am thriving in motherhood. Not every minute of every day. But every day. I can truly say that I feel fulfilled, joyful and happy in a new and beautiful way. 

 

 

I say this not to brag. I share this not to “out-mom” anyone or prove I’m a better parent than anyone else.

 

 

I say this knowing that postpartum anxiety and depression are on the rise.

 

I say this knowing that more and more people are delaying – or foregoing – parenthood altogether because they are afraid of what comes with it.

 

I say this knowing that the majority of people without children report higher levels of happiness than those with children.

 

And I say this knowing that marital satisfaction often decreases after children enter the picture.

 

 

But while those might be “averages”, and it might be common, I don’t think it’s normal… nor does it have to be.

 

 

We can change this story. Instead of looking to the “average”, I want to help bring UP the average.  I want to look at and share what it takes to be an outlier – those who are thriving in parenthood - and create a world where we all thrive.

 

 

Some people are happier and more satisfied with life after children, so let’s talk about those who are and how we can create that for ourselves.

 

 

Some marriages report higher levels of satisfaction after kids. Let’s talk about how THAT happens and what it takes to fall more and more in love with your partner, even as your time together shrinks.

 

 

I share my story – and will continue to - to inspire and create the conditions that have allowed me to thrive for as many other women as possible.

 

 

Through this space I’m in, I want to uplift parents and create meaningful conversations and community for all of us to thrive postpartum… and beyond.  Because I know this is not everyone’s experience – and I want to change that.

 

 

I don’t know what that this will all look like or where I’m going. But I sense a new beginning and an evolution.

 

 

In my journey of motherhood, I’ve already learned a lot and I’ve found writing and sharing what I’ve learned to be therapeutic and I truly hope it helps others.

 

 

So here I am. I’ve decided to start sharing my mom wisdoms and challenges (yup, lots of those!), through blogging (and beyond), as a way to encourage, connect and inspire.

 

 

I’m not sure how often I’ll do it, or where the “end game” is.

 

 

I’m going in with no expectations – just the intention of sharing, inspiring and opening up about the realness, the rawness, the magic and the wonder of motherhood.

 

 

I’m open to where it will lead. I’m open to collaborations, new experiences, new opportunities and anything else that might come my way.

 

 

Some of my posts will be inspirational and aspirational.

 

Some will be heartfelt.

 

Some will share tips and tricks (because boy, don’t we all need those?!).

 

Some will share the gear that’s helped us along the way… and the things we didn’t end up using.

 

 

Some will talk about what I wish I’d known.

 

Some will talk about what there was no way I could have known.

 

 

 

My vision is to create a world where mothers are confident, empowered and have community – because that’s where we thrive.

 

 

And that’s how we create a better future for our babies, and for everyone on this planet.

 

 

I hope you join me on this journey.

 

 

Today, I feel blessed and grateful. For you are my community.

 

 

And you have allowed me to thrive.

 

 

Thank you for the love. Thank you for the support.

 

 

Humbly,

 

Lisa

 
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