Have you ever wondered if you need a big goal? Or why you can’t just be happy?
I receive messages (and criticism) from people with questions like this often.
And I get clients who are honest enough with me and tell me that they wonder why they need to have big goals.
“Do I need big goals?” they wonder.
Maybe you’ve wondered the same.
Do you need to feel like you’ve made a massive impact in the world and left a legacy behind?
Should you just be happy with you have?
In fact, can’t you just be happy with the present moment?
Tell me the truth: have any of these thoughts ever crossed your mind?
Don’t be shy.
These are all common questions… and hard to answer.
But I’m going to try.
Here are the SHORT answers to all these questions:
No, you don’t need big goals.
No, you don’t need to leave a massive impact in the world.
Yes, you can be happy with what you have. In fact, that sounds wonderful.
Yes, you can be satisfied with the present.
BUT before I let you walk away without a big dream, or desire to leave an impact, I need to tell you the tale of two coins.
Each day, you make choices from one of two coins:
Your best self coin.
Or your inner critic coin.
Your best self coin is the coin that you want to make decisions from, inherit beliefs from and live life from.
Your best self might believe that every day is meant to be savoured and that your biggest purpose is to find joy every day. This means slowly drinking your coffee each morning, taking the long route to the store and napping frequently.
At the end of your life, you’d be so proud at your 80th birthday to have someone say that you showed them how to just be happy in life.
Alternatively, your best self might believe you were placed on this earth for a reason and you have big things to achieve. Maybe it’s solving world hunger or leading your local government.
At the end of your life, you’d be so proud to have someone say your leadership made a massive impact and that you changed the world in a big way.
While the actions you would take for these two life visions are both different – polar opposites in fact-, you can see how as long as you’re making a decision from your best self, that’s what matters.
Finding joy in every day or desiring to solve world hunger are two sides of the same coin.
They are two manifestations of what it might look like if you are your best self.
In fact, I believe that since it’s the same coin, you can actually have both. You can be happy with the every day, while also pursuing an impact and big goals.
Because it’s the same coin; your best self.
Now, let’s look at the other coin. Your inner critic coin.
You have a voice that tells you that you should just be happy with what you have. It tells you to stop wanting more. Why are you never satisfied? It wonders, will you never truly be happy? You have more than 95% of people in this world and you still want more? What the heck is wrong with you?!
Or you might have a voice that tells you to do more. You only have one life and you’re wasting it away if you don’t do something massive. Rest is for the weak. You have to keep going, achieving more, working more, trying harder.
Again, the actions you might take from this place might look different from each other, but you can sense the energy in both; it’s your inner critic talking.
If you’re listening to your inner critic, it’s actually going to be impossible for you to have either. You’ll never be satisfied with the present moment, and you’ll never be satisfied by what you achieve because neither one will ever be enough.
That’s why your inner critic needs to be fired.
These two thoughts, beliefs and actions sound different, but they are, in fact, two sides of the same coin. The sh*tty, inner critic coin that doesn’t serve you.
Ironically, choosing to be happy every day can be something that comes from your best self and uplifts you daily, or it can be a thought your inner critic uses to hold you back each and every day.
And going for big dreams, desiring to change the world can be inspiring and become your legacy that fulfills you, if it comes from your best self coin.
Or it can be something that holds you back from true happiness and joy, and makes you feel like you are never good enough if it’s from your inner critic coin.
So you see, I can’t tell with certainty which coin your thoughts are coming from. As a coach, I am trained to help my clients differentiate and understand, but from a Facebook comment or email, it’s pretty challenging.
But that’s ok – because YOU are your own best expert.
Maybe as you recognize some of these same thoughts and beliefs, you know exactly which coin your thoughts are coming from.
But maybe you aren’t sure what coin you’re coming from.
This is your work.
If you can master this, and understand which coin your beliefs and actions are coming from – and choose to come from the best self coin – THAT’S a game-changer. (No coin/game pun intended).
This is where you start, and what you learn to master. Each and every day.
It’s time to stop making decisions from a place of fear.
It’s time to start taking action based on where you want to be. Where your BEST self desires to be and WHO your best self really is.
Each and every day, you can choose to honour your values and your best self.
Or you can get caught up in the beliefs of your inner critic and end up sacrificing who you truly are.
Join me as I take you in-depth on how to tell which coin you’re listening to and operating from.
And how to continue to choose and listen to your best self, each and every day.
Friend, I’ll see you – and your best self – tonight.
PS. Photo credit to @yvonnederkx