What to do if you can't keep a promise to yourself

Have you ever told yourself you were going to do something… and then NOT done it?

Maybe it was deciding not to drink for Sober October. Or going to the gym at 5 am.  Or reading 20 pages a day.

Heck, you may not even remember what you promised yourself to since you were so far off from ever following through!

If you’ve ever broken a promise to yourself, you have to read this.

You guys probably know two of the hottest books in the personal development world right now are by Rachel Hollis:  Girl, Wash Your Face and Girl, Stop Apologizing.  

If you’re like me, you probably love and agree with SO MUCH of what Rachel shares.

But there’s one thing. One BIG thing I don’t love about what Rachel says.

I believe she's 100% incorrect about this:

In Girl, Wash Your Face she says that it's wrong to break a promise to yourself.

And that if you're someone who breaks a promise to yourself, it means you won't accomplish what you set out to.

Maybe you’ve heard this and felt discouraged.

Or maybe you’ve never heard this and you just hate that you can’t seem to do what you say you will do.

If you’ve ever beat yourself up about it, or wondered WHY, why, WHY you can’t seem to, you’re not alone.

And here’s the good news: I believe that even if you break a promise to yourself, it doesn’t mean success isn’t in the cards for you.

The better news?  From the research I've done on habits and what I've seen to be true with my dozens of students, you are definitely still capable of achieving your goals.

Still not convinced?  

Here’s Exhibit A:  Me.

I was a prime candidate for breaking promises to myself… and then guilting myself for it. Over and over again.

I’d always heard that exercise "should" be easy and I should do it for myself.

But truthfully, when I put a "reminder" in my calendar to go for a run, I rarely do it.

If I tell myself I'll go to the gym a few times this week, it doesn't happen.

I know this about myself. And instead of beating myself up, I work with it.

When DO I work out?

When it's a workout I really enjoy and I'm with fabulous friends.

And when I've signed up for a class and have to pay to cancel (I'm a cheapo for these kinds of things).

So what do I do?

I USE this to make sure I get the exercise my body craves.

I started a running club.  

I book classes online the week before - and then go to them!

I meet friends for a swim or a walk.

I find someone to babysit and come over while I work out.  

I USE the fact that I'm really good at being accountable to others TO my advantage.

The end result? I exercise, consistently. I just do it in a way that works for me.

What is the problem I DO see?!

SO many people are beating themselves up for having different motivators, strengths and ways they work best.  

Here are two things you need to know:

1)  Some people do better when they promise or make commitments to others. That's ok: just work with what works for you.

2) You've GOT to know yourself. There is no expert in the world (not me, not Rachel), that can tell you what will work well for you.  

YOU need to learn about yourself. Look back at what's worked & what hasn't. Recreate the good and stop the bad.  

If you already know how you work best, great. Keep doing that. Do more of it to make sure you stay on course towards your goals.

If you don’t know how you work best, look at what’s worked for you in the past.

At the end of the week, what are the things that you did accomplish?  

And why did you do THOSE things over other things on your “to-do” list?

STILL not sure? That’s ok.

I’ve created a quick and easy quiz to find out YOUR GOAL-GETTING STYLE so you can learn how YOU work best.

Once you know HOW you work, HOW you best succeed and accomplish goals... well, THEN you're unstoppable!

So, my friend, stop beating yourself up over the promises you break to yourself.

And work with what works for you.

Get accountability if you need it. Take the GOAL-GETTING STYLE quiz and learn specific strategies and tips to help YOU get the goals you want!

And of course, I’ll see you on Facebook and Instagram LIVE tonight around 8:30 pm PST, to dive deeper into this topic and share more strategies so you can STOP breaking promises to yourself.