“You already know the answer to that,” I replied.
My friend sheepishly looked at me.
“Ya. I do.”
“You already know you want to go back to work early from your maternity leave.”
“Ya. I do,” she said.
If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me a question they already knew the answer to, I’d be in Kardashian territory 🤣
This is what I’ve learned about questions asked looking for “advice”:
Often, the question you’re asking isn’t really a question.
It’s you looking for VALIDATION.
Validation that you’re doing the right thing.
Validation that you’re thinking the right thing.
Validation that your friend/husband/wife/sister/boss/mentor/whoever would do the same thing in this situation.
And this is why you need a coach.
First, so I can help you see this mirror and recognize this “question” for what it really is - and reflect that mirror right back on you.
You need a coach.
Because you don’t actually care - or need to know - whether I think you should apply to go back to school or not.
What you need is to answer your own question.
What matters is what YOU want to do.
Chances are you already know the answer: and you just need a coach to help you gain the confidence to step into your power, and make the decision yourself.
The second reason you need a coach?
Because when you ask a coach, “what do you do when you argue with your husband about the same thing 50 times?”, I don’t tell you what I do.
I don’t tell you that I think your husband should just step up and take the kids more often. Or do more cleaning because you’re my friend and I think you do the majority of the cleaning.
Instead, I ask you.
You become the expert.
Instead of getting my opinions, you find out what YOU do when you argue with your husband for the 50th time.
And that gives you exactly what you need to realize that you’re doing the same thing and expecting different results.
Here’s the difference between a conversation with a friend or family or boss or colleague...and a conversation with a coach:
Other people are always bringing their opinions to the table: for better and for worse.
Now, sometimes you need to bounce an idea off someone. Sometimes you need to hear new solutions and ideas.
But too often, you are also hearing other people’s fears being projected onto you.
Too often, you are listening to your friend’s “advice.”
Too often, people are giving you their opinions, and you’re listening, even when you know the answer yourself: and it’s different than what those around you are sharing.
Too often, you are being sucked into the idea that it’s “normal” to fight with your husband repeatedly because that’s what marriage is.
Too often, you are being brought into the “cult of the average” because you’re listening to the average person’s opinion.
You’re taking advice from people you wouldn’t trade places with.
You’re taking advice from people who haven’t stepped out of their comfort zone, people who don’t have happy marriages, people who don’t set new goals, people who are living pay-check to pay-check, and people who treat their bodies like crap.
This may be blunt, but it’s the truth.
Worst of all, you will come to me in a few years and wonder why you’re not any more fulfilled.
Why you haven’t figured out your next career move.
Why you’re still fighting with your husband.
Why you’re still tired, working damn hard and don’t even remember what you’re working for.
This is why my clients hire me.
This is why you need a coach.
Because instead of taking you further from what you want, or just validating the crap out of you, I teach you to become your own best expert.
You can validate yourself. (Yup, that’s enough, I promise).
You can take charge yourself.
You can begin to listen to opinions and ideas and judge them for what’s right for you.
But only if you first learn how to listen to yourself and become your own best expert.
My friend, it’s time for you to stop doing it alone.
And time for you to stop listening to the wrong people.
It’s time to start listening to yourself and get out of your own way.
Book your complimentary discovery call here and let’s get you started on your journey to being more fulfilled.
It’s time to step into your power and become your own best expert..