Last year, when I moved to Vancouver, I bought a street bike for the first time ever. I hadn’t regularly ridden a bike in over 15 years.
But… riding a bike is like, well, riding a bike right? You don’t forget… do you?
It turns out you do. Or at least I do. I went for a bike ride with my husband Troy and our friend and I was terrible.
I couldn’t figure out the gears. I was slow (and very sweaty).
I couldn’t keep up. Was scared to brake. Petrified to drive in traffic. Couldn’t keep my balance well enough to throw up hand signals.
In hindsight, I was even a little dangerous.
My friends were teasing me about it. “Wow – Lisa, you’re a terrible biker.”
“We’ll meet you there in a few hours”.
We had a few laughs about it both that day and whenever the topic of me biking comes up.
I can totally laugh about it and I am genuinely not offended.
But here’s what I did do.
I took on the identity that I was “slow, terrible, biking Lisa”.
I believed that I was bad at biking. Full stop.
I started telling myself “I’m just a bad bike rider. I better not ride with others. And I definitely can’t ride in traffic.”
Well - isn't that a depressing thing to be stuck as a terrible biker when I love bike-riding AND I live in one of the most bike-friendly cities in the world?!
So, I didn't accept it. I realized I was going against one of the most scientifically proven factors for success.
Insert: Carol Dweck, Stanford Psychologist and author of one of my favourite books, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success .
Carol has proven that there are two mindsets:
Growth mindset: You believe you can change, learn, grow and improve. You believe your abilities can be developed through practice, dedication and work. Brains and talent are great but just a starting point. You love learning and are resilient - and you know both are essential for success. Spoiler alert: pretty much all accomplished people have had these qualities and a growth mindset.
Fixed mindset: You believe that basic qualities like talents, strengths and intelligence are fixed traits. And you can’t change them. You’re either smart or stupid. People here spend time documenting and proving their intelligence instead of developing them. A fixed mindset tells you that innate talent creates success,without effort.
Simply put, those with a fixed mindset are wrong.
Through Carol’s research, she’s proven that people with a growth mindset are leaps and bounds more successful than those with a fixed mindset.
Those with a growth mindset come out on top.
I can’t recommend the book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success enough.
If you have a growth mindset, you’re far more likely to be happy, successful, have great relationships and earn more money.
For me, that’s sounds pretty damn good. So I make a conscious effort to focus on my growth mindset.
I do genuinely believe if there’s something I’m not good at, it’s ok. The only way to get better is to try, practice, and learn.
I know that practice is important. But even I forget sometimes. Knowing is different than implementing. Information doesn’t always translate to action.
About a month ago, I realized I was letting that mindset overtake my joy for biking. I was stuck. I wasn’t riding with others because I figured I was too slow. I was super inefficient, having to use the seawall everywhere I went to avoid traffic.
I realized I was never, ever going to get better or gain confidence with a fixed mindset.
Yes. It was true that I wasn’t a great biker. But I also hadn’t biked in 15 years. The problem was lack of practice, and not something inherently wrong with me.
So I made a change.
To my mindset. And to my habits.
I decided to practice. I started biking on my own.
And guess what? It worked!
I remembered that it’s a skill like anything else. I improved my speed. My shifting. I got comfortable and confident biking again. And I’m even totally cool to ride my bike in downtown Vancouver traffic.
In the last year since I got my bike, I barely improved.
BUT, in the last month, since changing my mindset and practicing, I’ve gottenWAY better!
In fact, last week on the seawall, I kept up with a (male) friend on a road bike while I was on a mountain bike. A year ago, he would have been going twice my speed.
It’s amazing what a difference shifting my mindset made.
My challenge for you is to look within yourself and reflect:
- Where in your life are you stuck?
- What in your life are you telling yourself you aren’t any good at?
- Where is your “fixed mindset” holding you back?
- If you believed you could be the best at something in your life, what would you choose to be the best at?
- What’s possible for you if you believe you can be the best?
- What will you do to become better?
You can get unstuck. You can be better. All it takes is holding the mindset that practice and improvement is possible. And doing it.
Maybe this is something that is impacting your career. Your parenting. Your ability to speak in public. Maybe it’s your cooking that you assume you’re bad at so never do (although for me, this is one I’m happy to not practice – hehe).
Start telling yourself “I can be good at this.” I’m learning. I’m getting better.
Don’t let frustration get you down. Refuse to stay stuck. Don’t tell yourself you suck (yes, I’m talking to you). And I’m talking to myself.
Instead, say “look how far I’ve come”. “Look what I’m learning”.
Watch yourself grow. And see what you can do that you weren’t able to do before.
Let’s be honest, none of us are born being amazing at anything without practice. Except child prodigies. But even child prodigies have to learn and improve the skills beyond their natural talents.
Give yourself permission to get better.
Permission to suck at first.
Permission to take two steps forward and one step back, knowing that it’s the only way to ever improve!
Because you WILL improve.
Now, here’s the thing. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success is one of my favourite books. I know in my whole body and mind that a growth mindset is not only true, but it’s a huge key to success.
And yet I still got caught in the fixed mindset mentality.
See, no matter how much you know, implementing knowledge is always a challenge.
You know smoking is bad for you. You understand that you should eat more greens.
You figure you should say no to the third glass of wine.
But the fact is that there are still millions of smokers in North America. Very few of us eat enough greens. And I have a very hard time saying “no” to the wine.
There’s a hole between knowledge and implementation.
A gap between understanding and doing.
A space between insight and action.
And this is where we get stuck. And stay stuck.
Unless we make a decision to create change.
That’s where we need support. It’s where great bosses come in. This is where wonderful friends can help. This is where mentors and even spouses can support.
And this is the space where coaching thrives and shines.
Sometimes, the desire to move forward is too important to leave to chance.
The result you want - work-life balance, getting back in shape, traveling more,starting your business – is something you want SO badly that you aren’t messing around.
Or the place you're stuck in is so uninspiring, so de-motivating, so dull, you can't possibly sit in it another day.
Here’s where I come in.
I’m here to take you from idea to implementation.
I’m here to make you take what you know and create the life you want with it.
I’m here to mirror back to you what I see in you that you may not yet see in yourself. Like limiting beliefs. Sub-conscious mindsets.
And of course, show you the brilliance and awesomeness in yourself that you don’t fully appreciate – yet.
I'm here to unstick you and break you free.
To create real change, you need more accountability, more encouragement, and more awareness of where you’re going. And you need to squash what’s holding you back, stat. If I’m talking to you, get in touch.
I’d love to connect to find out how we can get you from the place you are today –mediocre, frustrated, discouraged, or underwhelmed – to a place where you’re achieving what you know is possible for you (and more!).
This time, my invitation to connect is different. In October, I’m entering an intensive 6-month coaching certification program, a program reserved for the top coaches in the world. This program is going to stretch me and make me the best coach for my clients (something that is super important to me, and you – duh).
To give the program, and my clients the best of me, I’m limiting the number of spaces for one-on-one clients between October 2016 and April 2017.
And when I do open more spaces, I will be increasing my prices to reflect the incredible results my clients are achieving.
So if you’ve been debating, wondering, talking yourself out of chatting with me, now is the time.
Get over your excuses of not having time, money, or whatever other excuse that fixed mindset is having you believe. It’s time to say goodbye to the excuses, and hello to your new mindset and self.
As a special incentive for the clients that do come with me on my coaching journey, I’m creating only three (3!) spaces for a six-month program.
It’s something I won’t be advertising on my website – it’s only for those reading this post.
My prices will never be this low again… and I will probably never offer a program like this ever again.
If you are ready for change, ready for more, and ready to have it all in your life, I can’t wait to hear from you.
Connect with me for a free Discovery Call to find out more about this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! There’s no obligation and no pressure. Because I only work with the most dedicated and passionate clients – and I have a feeling that might beyou!
Whether you will be one of the three (3!!) joining me in this six-month program or not, I’ll be here, challenging you along the way, supporting you on your quest for a life and a career you LOVE!
I’m unbelievably excited and humbled about the next phase of my personal growth and my business. And I can’t wait to find out who will be a part of the growth journey with me.
PS. The 3 spots in my six-month program are first-come, first served. I already have a few calls set up for next week and I don’t want you to miss out. Contact me today for your free Discovery Call – and let’s make the next six months rock your world!